Census data cites 95% of Americans over 70 as having been married during their lifetimes.
A lifetime of happiness is an unparalleled experience, but those in their 70s are disproportionately impacted by widowhood. Around this time, 58% of women and 28% of men will experience the grief that comes with this loss.
If you’re among them, you’re far from alone. Read on to learn how to cope with losing a spouse in your 70s and get some tips on how to embrace and accept loss.
Acknowledge and Embrace Feelings
Everyone experiences grief in their own unique way. This makes sense considering that all partnerships are different.
You and your spouse may have had an extremely happy marriage, while another couple had a more complicated one filled with ups and downs. This means that your grief will take a different shape from theirs during the early days of widowhood.
Feelings may also vary depending on how your spouse passed away. Long-foreseen deaths hurt deeply and can be traumatic for partners who watch their loved one decline. However, while these spouses have already begun the grieving process, others whose spouses die suddenly may experience shock, denial, and emotional numbness.
Regardless of what you’re feeling, embrace those emotions. Sit with your grief regardless of the form it takes and accept it as part of who you are. Mourning in your own way is an important part of healing after a loss, so be sure to accept and express those feelings openly.
Senior Grief Support From Friends and Family
Talking about grief can benefit grieving seniors in many ways. Some include:
- A better understanding of your feelings while grieving
- The opportunity to feel supported by friends and family members
- Resolving underlying guilt and longing
- Offering up a sense of peace in eventually acknowledging your loved one’s death
Talking with loved ones like children and grandchildren can also give you the chance to receive comfort.
Others in the family are also likely grieving in their own way. You can all feel less alone when you come together in this grief.
Still, talking about the grieving process can be a challenge. Make sure to:
- Be selective in who you talk to by choosing to speak with empathetic friends and family members
- Ask directly for what you need in terms of emotional support or assistance
- Tell listeners that you appreciate their support
Many people also find speaking of the deceased to be an important part of the grieving process. Share stories of your late spouse with others who loved them. Tell other people in your senior living community about your partner to keep their memory alive.
They’ve touched your life forever, and that’s a blessing. Let their wisdom and stories keep touching others’ hearts, too.
After all, the underlying foundation of grief is love. Grief is a way for you and others to keep bonding with your spouse after they’re gone.
The Role of Bereavement Counseling in Healing
Friends and family can make you feel less alone, but they don’t have the same tools and resources as a professional grief counselor would. They provide a safe and non-judgmental space where you can share your feelings.
You can discuss confusion and anger while talking to a professional. You may be uncomfortable doing this with other grieving family members, so counseling is an invaluable opportunity to discuss nuanced emotions.
Bereavement counselors can also help you:
- Understand the grieving process more effectively
- Navigate all the different stages of grief
- Manage physical grief symptoms like insomnia and headaches
- Find senior mental health resources
- Help you retain a healthy connection with the memory of your spouse
- Find meaning and purpose in your life going forward
Grief counselors also can help you develop coping strategies like:
- Journaling about your feelings while mourning your spouse
- Learning deep breathing exercises to clear your mind
- Understanding mindfulness and how you can be more mindful throughout the day
You may also be able to find a broader support system with group grief counseling.
This will give you the chance to share your grief with others who are experiencing similar feelings of loss. It can help you feel a lot less alone, and guided conversations ensure that everyone gets a chance to speak during grief therapy.
Improve Your Emotional Well-Being
Grieving is a long-term process, and losing a spouse in your 70s isn’t something that you just get over. It’s something that you live with.
You’ll always feel the loss, but over time, it will feel more distant than it is now. You will be able to remember your partnership and smile instead of feeling emptiness and pain.
But moving forward can be difficult, so it’s important to come up with coping strategies that improve emotional wellness.
Creating a digital photo album is a great way to honor and remember your spouse. You can always look back at it and remember all the great times you had together.
To take care of yourself, you can also explore new interests to keep yourself busy after loss. This gives you a new source of contentment and joy. Enrich your mind with creative activities like scrapbooking and knitting.
Engage yourself mentally by reading books and playing games. You also can stay physically healthy by taking walks around your senior living community courtyard or attending fitness and wellness groups.
Get other people involved too. Not all activities are solitary, and having fun in group settings is a great idea!
Get Hope After Losing a Spouse in Your 70s
Losing a spouse in your 70s is one of the most painful things to go through. Understanding and sitting with your feelings is important. Getting support from loved ones and professionals can help you embrace these emotions and remember your partner.
Veranda Club is a community where seniors can build and nurture lifelong connections. If you need companionship after losing a spouse, our independent or assisted living options may help you feel less isolated and alone.
Schedule a tour of our community to learn more about connecting with others in Boca Raton, FL.
